I remember when I was an adolescent, I had heard about Tantra. I was fascinated by the idea of men having the ability to have orgasms without ejaculation and to have multiple orgasms. Over the years, the concept of tantra has become a topic in films, legend, and conversation. It always seemed so mysterious to me until a series of life events led to my studies with Grand Master Mantak Chia.
I stayed at Master Chia’s retreat center in Thailand for seven weeks in 2008. I was full of excitement. Although I am a believer in energetic practices, my skeptical filter was still in place until I experienced the deep tranquility during the Taoist meditations. I was like a sponge, soaking up all of the information and experience that I could.
The beginning Taoist practices involve strengthening the body and working with one’s own energy. We learned to balance our emotional energy with the Six Healing Sounds and Inner Smile Meditations. We learned Tao Yin Yoga to strengthen our bodies and to gain flexibility in the spine. We learned to circulate energy with the Microcosmic Orbit Meditation; also known as the Small Heavenly Circle. We learned to “root” our energy down to the Earth with the Iron Shirt Chi Kung Exercises. It is important to note that only after learning these basic practices first, did we begin to learn Healing Love, the Taoist Sexual Practices.
Healing Love is a practice that involves circulating, refining, and cultivating sexual energy in the body that can be stored or used for healing. The goal of this practice is to cultivate energy and healing and should not be confused with Red Tantra.
Sharing the Road:
Healing Love has completely transformed my paradigm surrounding sex! It has opened my eyes to a whole world of orgasmic experiences that I never knew existed. Before, sex was like two parallel roads that sometimes ended at the same time. I felt that through the act of sex, I was trying to reach my goal of orgasm, and my partner was trying to reach her orgasm(s). Healing Love allows us to share the same road together.
Now after having learned the practice, the sensations that I feel during orgasm last longer, are felt throughout my whole body, and I have the ability to have multiple orgasms. I have more energy after sex, and I feel connected to my partner on a deeper level during sex and in the relationship.
Separating Orgasm & Ejaculation:
The most fundamental concept for men is to separate the concept of orgasm and ejaculation! In the West, we have learned that sex ends with ejaculation; and that orgasm is ejaculation. This is not the case. (This is also not to mention all of the unhealthy concepts surrounding sex that are perpetuated in the media.)
An orgasm for a man is an uncontrollable spasm of muscles surrounding the prostate gland. Ejaculation is just the release of sperm. In the Healing Love Practice, we first learn some physical practices that help to control ejaculation. As one becomes adept, he can rely less on physical methods, and control it just using the mind.
Mountains and Valleys:
If you imagine a diagram of a man’s sexual experience, it looks like a mountain. A man’s state of arousal goes up to a peak at climax, and then goes down immediately. (No pun intended.) Luckily women are already hardwired to experience multiple and full body orgasms; although some women that I know have not had this experience. The diagram of a woman’s sexual experience can look like a set of mountains and valleys. The good news is that if men practice Healing Love, we can have multiple mountains and valleys as well!
The Tao That Can Be Spoken is not the True Tao
Practice makes perfect. With the Healing Love practice, one first learns to work with energy in one’s own body. There is no sexual contact with a partner during classes. I practiced on my own for a year and a half, and although I was able to separate orgasm from ejaculation, the sensations that I felt seemed subtle to me. I asked all of the male Universal Healing Tao instructors I knew about what an orgasm feels like in the Healing Love Practice. They all described an experience that far surpassed an ejaculation orgasm. I was astonished as well as a little frustrated at the fact that I had yet to experience this for myself.
Healing Love, also known as Sexual Kung Fu, is a journey. Kung Fu roughly translates as a skill attained through work every day. It takes work, or we can say that it is a practice. There is a saying that the Tao that can be spoken is not the true Tao. The Tao is all encompassing. Once the Tao is conceptualized, dissected, and separated into words, it is already not the Tao. Master Chia gave me the roadmap for the practice, but nobody could do the work for me. People could describe the experience, but it eluded me and was incomprehensible to me until I could find my own way. It wasn’t until a year and a half later, that I experienced my first full body; multiple orgasms… (see Part 2 for the continuation of "Healing Love)